


Order Made

by Aamu16



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Poor Izaya, Songfic, Sorry Not Sorry, THE FEELSSSSSSSSSSSS, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 10:26:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7931116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aamu16/pseuds/Aamu16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired in the song Order Made from the Radwips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Order Made

Everything was white as the snow, even the chair where he was sitting on… everything but himself and that man in front of him. Shizuo looked at him curious, black hair, red yes, black clothes and a dark coat with some fur. The man smiling, his legs crossed and his hands intertwined.

 

_I think I must have been asked this once._ __  
Before I was born, by someone, somewhere.  
"Choose one: the past, or the future,  
And I will allow you to see it.  
Which will it be? Which will it be?"  
  


Shizuo was surprised by the question, something deep inside of him begged for the past. That way he could be nice, not strong; his heart despised the thought of being strong. Then, the past would be.

__  
And I probably decided on the past.  
So that, rather than just strong, I could become kind, become kind.  
So that I could understand what memories are.  
  


The man’s smile turned somewhat sad, but either way gave him some lollipops, someone in his mind said ‘milk-flavored’. In his other hand were sunglasses and cigarettes. The raven started to speak again.

__  
Next, that 'somebody' told me this.  
"I'll give you arms and legs and mouths and ears and eyes,  
Hearts and breasts and nostrils.  
I'll give you two of each one.  
Isn't that great? Isn't that great?"

Shizuo didn’t wanted two mouths, it would be a pain if the voice in his mind started to talk through it. What if they started to argue? Hear his own voice telling him otherwise aloud wouldn’t be pleasant, at all. __  
  


_But then I made a request._

_I said, I'd be fine with just one mouth._  
So I wouldn't argue with myself;   
so I could only kiss one person."

He knew he was being selfish but still… For a second someone who he didn’t know came to his mind, the anger boiled inside his chest, yes, but also did the satisfaction. He wanted and didn’t want to forget that person, to erase and feel again the sensation of that persons lips against his.

 

_I want to forget._  
But somehow, I can't.  
What do you call this kind of feeling?  
  
Looking a little disappointed,   
the person continued with his explanation.  
"The hearts are most important,   
so I'll put one behind each of your breasts.  
Isn't that great? Isn't that great?"

 

The maroon man pointed his chest with a slender finger, elegant and fair. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted, if it was his choice he wouldn’t give Shizuo two hearts… but that wasn’t his choice again. Anyway, he expected him to say no again… yet, Shizuo was Shizuo and he never did what he wanted him to do.

__  
But, once more, I had a request to make.  
“I'm awfully sorry, but to be honest,   
I really don't need a heart on the right.  
Sorry to keep troubling you like this.  
  
It's so that when I find that one special person,  
And hold her close to me for the first time,  
Only then will I finally be able to feel  
Two hearts beating, one on each side.”  
  


Oh dear, that wasn’t at all what the raven expected… still, it worked for him. So he struggled and was about to do as he was asked to do. Shizuo started talking again.

__  
“The left one mine, the right, yours.  
The left one yours, the right, mine.  
So that alone, I'll always be lacking something.  
So that I won't be able to just go on living alone.”  
  


There it was, the beast explanation. He didn’t want to be alone… But again, he wasn’t alone to begin with; the blond had him, didn’t he? The red eyed man didn’t fear him in anyway, even when he almost killed him with that awful blond woman help.

__  
I want to forget.  
But somehow, I can't.  
What do you call this kind of feeling?  
  
My chest is pounding,   
yet somehow it seems familiar.  
What do you call this kind of feeling?  


 

Something told Shizuo that he indeed had already found that person. Somewhere, somehow, but he couldn’t remember no matter how hard he tried.

__  
"Ah, that reminds me, there's one last thing.  
Would you like us to add in tears as well?  
You'd have no problems without them,  
but some people find them annoying, so they opt out.  
What would you like? What would you like?"

 

Little water spheres floating in the man’s hands were presented to Shizuo. Everyone of one color: blue, red, golden and white. _  
_

__  
In the end, I asked him to add them in.  
So that, rather than just strong, I could become kind, become kind.  
So I could understand what it means to hold something dear.  
  
"Oh, while we're at it, the tears will need a flavor.  
So I'd just like you to choose which one you'd prefer.  
We have sour, salty, spicy, sweet.  
You can choose whichever you like.  
Which will you have? Which will you have?"

The red one showed the man in front of him, below a word floated ‘sour’; the blue one a group of kids, one had blond hair and the others, a boy and a girl, black hair, below the word ‘salty’; the golden one a couple, a man with glasses and a woman with a yellow helmet, below the word ‘sweet’ and the white one a group of three people, a blond woman, a young boy really serious with black hair and a man with sunglasses and Rasta hairstyle, below the word ‘spicy’.

Shizuo was attracted to the ‘sour’ flavor. 

Suddenly he started to cry, he didn’t know why. It was like all the tears he didn’t know he had been suppressing came to his eyes at once. He buried his face on his hands. _  
_

__  
“Everything was put together just as requested,  
so wipe those tears away and let me see your face.  
Come on, show it to me with pride.”

 

The other man spoke near to his hidden face, almost begging. For him it would be the last time he would be able to see his face, so just once more, he wanted to see it one more time. 

Shizuo lifted his face and smiled to him, the tears trailing down his face. They really tasted sour. The raven took a sharp breath, Shizuo had never let him see his smile before; he like crying himself. So he got up and turned away. 

Shizuo wanted to say ‘thank you’ to this person, he had given him a lot of things. Therefore, he started to do so. _  
_

 

_“Thank you so much for everything._  
Sorry to have caused you so much trouble.  
But could I just ask one last thing?  
Have we met somewhere before?"

 

The raven couldn’t contain his tears anymore. The man that he had loved so dearly that even the hatred was okay if he was the one who occupied his mind… even if it was just a little bit, remembered him.

“Izaya.” The informant told him. Smiling sweetly to Shizuo, who was startled. “The name is Izaya Orihara, Shizu-chan.”


End file.
